As it should be
by DontCallMeSweetheart
Summary: WARNING: Contains so many spoilers for Into Darkness that unless you're not going to watch the film, if you haven't seen it then don't read this. So, this a story about Jim and Spock realising their feelings for one another after the events at the end of the film. Also, this story goes a little off cannon because I had to break up Spock and Nyota, but in a nice way. Enjoy the read


Disclaimer: Sadly, the whole Star Trek thing belongs to Gene Roddenberry, I'm just playing around with the characters he made

So, I saw a kind of prompt on tumblr saying they would like to see a story based on Jim already knowing about Khan from the mind meld with Spock prime, so here's my shot at it. Enjoy :D

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What he had seen were flashbacks. Little flashes of memories that hadn't made all that much sense. The feelings of fear, pain, anger… And now he understood. The name Khan now made sense; he had even seen the face before, but not quite him.

When he had melded with the older Spock's mind he had seen everything. Spock's sacrifice, what must have been himself stood on the other side of a glass door, looking pained and desperate to do something to help him friend. And he hadn't understood until now. This was Khan, and someone would have to make the sacrifice.

Punching Scotty hadn't even left him with any guilt, it had to be done. He would be safe now at least. But what he was thinking about as he was jumping, so desperate to re-align the warp core to save his ship, their ship, was that look he had seen in his own eyes. And the full understanding that this had happened before. That Spock would, and had, done exactly the same thing for him as he was doing now, gave him some form of peace. But he couldn't let Spock do that again.

Maybe Spock would talk to old Spock and understand what he did. They had found a way to bring Spock back, he'd seen that too. So they would save him, right? Spock would save him. Spock had to save him. He had to tell him how he felt. Spock…

Love was a funny thing. He had felt it in that moment when old Spock had thought of him during the meld. A pure feeling that, against his better judgement, he had wanted more and more with his first officer over their time together.

Uhura hadn't understood when Spock explained what had happened in that volcano. Well, she'd understood, but couldn't cope with Spock's ability to not feel. She needed something more than Spock could give her, which was fine by Jim. Because Jim understood. He always did.

The warp core was sparking up, gaining life again, he had done it. Saved the ship. Saved Spock. Then he was blown backwards up against the wall.

XxX

He knew there was no such thing as a miracle, which is why he was running. He had to get to Jim, had to see Jim. This had been his responsibility, not Jim's. Spock had explained to him what had happened in the other timeline, dying then being brought back by that one constant that was always in his life; Jim.

So now Spock knew what Jim had done, he had made that ultimate sacrifice to ensure that the rest of their crew would be safe, but the Captain was an idiot for doing it.

He stopped right next to the glass and saw Jim inside the radiation chamber. He couldn't get to him. Couldn't touch Jim. Wasn't allowed to open the door to be with him. So many thoughts running through his head; how could Jim have done this, how could he have not been there to stop him, and why did they just leave everything they had always wanted to say unsaid?

Somewhat meaningless words were spoken, but Spock couldn't bring himself to say the one thing that needed saying. Their love was left unspoken, and he wouldn't get another chance.

XxX

Some memories had been running through his brain. The best moments, and the worst, most of them involving his trusty first officer Spock. Spock… Wait, he was having thoughts and memories and his body was aching and... Wasn't death supposed to be peaceful and painless? Hadn't he died in that radiation chamber?

But upon opening his eyes the first thing he saw was Bones. Bones definitely would not be the first thing he saw in his own personal heaven, Spock would be. So he must be ALIVE!

Spock was there in the room though, which Jim was thankful for. However, whilst Bones was still there he couldn't say anything real to Spock; all he could do was say thank you to him for saving his life, no talk of feelings. But Spock stayed. He stayed by his bedside without leaving for well over an hour of Bones doing stupid tests before he got the hint and left. Then it was just the two of them, and the tension was racking up.

"Look Spock, I'm sure you have somewhere else you need to be…" said Jim, fidgeting on the bed, looking anywhere but into Spock's eyes. He couldn't tell Spock how he felt. He'd lost his confidence as soon as he'd been left alone with the Vulcan and now he felt awkward with Spock standing next to his bed. Jim's anxiety meter ratcheted up tenfold when Spock sat down on the edge of his bed instead of leaving the room, but his breathe caught in his throat and he found he couldn't say anything more.

Spock heard Jim's breathe catch as he made the somewhat bold move of sitting down on the bed next to him. But he had planned out a speech, and he couldn't chicken out now.

"Jim" he said, in a somewhat quiet voice, suddenly feeling slightly panicky, but continuing nonetheless, "Look, when I saw you in the radiation chamber, I realised that there has been a lot unsaid between us that I only began to realise existed when Nyota and I broke it off" as he finished the sentence he finally found the strength to look up into Jim's eyes which, to his surprise, were now looking straight back at him.

Jim's eyes were the most amazing colour. A blue so intense he felt as though he could drown in them, but now wasn't the time. He cleared his throat before continuing,

"You always have been, and always will be, my friend Jim. That will never change but…" he broke off the end of his sentence, reaching for Jim's hand and gripping it tight as if he had to stop Jim from leaving him as he almost had that frightful day on the enterprise. His words were stuck in his throat, and he felt as though he couldn't finish this one sentence that could change their lives,

"But I have realised that, without you, I don't think I could have gone on, because" Spock took a deep breath, "I love you Jim. And I think I always have, right from the beginning." There, he had said it. His human half had completely taken over his mind and now he could feel a lone tear slipping down his cheek.

But before he could wipe it away, he felt Jim's hand brush it away from his cheek, and Spock looked back up at Jim's face just in time to see him lean in and kiss Spock for the first time.

Jim hadn't known how Spock had felt, and as Spock had said he loved him it was like he'd put on glasses for the first time and everything had come into perfect focus. So he couldn't help the way he had leaned forward and wiped away that tear, and then kissed Spock, even if it was only a very brief kiss before he had to pull away just to say,

"I love you too, and thank God you managed to save me" and as he said it he saw the first ever genuine smile grace his first officers lips. They were both so happy he could practically feel it radiating from Spock's very being, but his contemplation's were stopped short when Spock brought his hand, rather tentatively up towards Jim's face. He nodded, and felt Spock's fingers settle in the meld position before he found himself kind of gently floating through Spock's thoughts.

And then he felt it. The confusion Spock had always felt around Jim and the 'strange sensation' Spock always felt when he made the captain smile. Then the realisation of his true feelings, followed by the warmth and contentment of Spock's love for him. But then he felt the cold emptiness of how Spock felt when he 'died' and felt tears start tracking down his face. The hope when Spock found out there was a way to save him, and then finally, the memory from moments ago when Jim had said his 'I love you' and the pure happiness and relief was overwhelming, covering Jim like a blanket.

He came back to his senses as Spock pulled his hand away from Jim's face and look away. Jim could see the tears on Spock's face as well and, not knowing what else to do, pulled Spock's face back to look at him.

Spock wasn't sure what he had expected Jim to do, but it wasn't holding out his two fingers, index and middle, and reaching them out for a Vulcan kiss. Spock imitated the motion and, as his fingers met Jim's, he leaned his head down to catch Jim's mouth in a passionate human kiss, as if Jim was the only other person in the whole universe.

They both felt as though they could have stayed in this same position for the rest of their lives when, from the doorway, they both heard, in a very distinctive southern drawl,

"Dammit Jim! Couldn't you have found some way to warn me so I didn't walk in on that, dear God when will you ever learn. Jesus Christ" But, after Bones had swiftly made his exit, Jim rested his forehead against Spock's and breathed in a contented sigh.

Everything was as it should be.

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Hope you liked it, if you did then feel free to leave a review, if you noticed any errors, point them out for me because my beta hasn't seen the film so she couldn't check it through for me. Thanks for reading :D


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